"After I entered this organization, my associates immediately recognized my potential as an executive. I know how to set my own schedule when it comes to play time, meal time, and nap time, and I always speak my mind even if it means saying the hard things that people might not want to hear -- you know...hiss! Don't worry, though; I'm tough, but fair.
Employees who rise to my expectations receive competitive compensation packages that include purrs, head-butts, kneading, and lap-warming. I require my employees to be at least six years of age, maintain proficiency in the use of a cat charmer, and be skilled with a soft cat brush.
Duties include daily play sessions, petting, brushing, feeding, and litterbox maintenance. If your organization needs a C.F.O. (chief feline officer), look no further! Bring me on board, and your organization will soar to new levels of cuteness in the next quarter.
What are you waiting for? Let's do business together."
Ms. Puddie is available today - and fee waived! - at Allie's Alma Mater, Wayside Waifs.