Faraday's First (uh, second) Friday

Lesson #582:  How to Properly Tame a Wand Toy

First you gotta man it into your claws (#likeaBoss)

Then you stare it into submission.

Wand toys today, the world tomorrow.

#DOMINATING

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Faraday's First Fridays

Lesson #629: How to ruin your sister's nap.

#WINNING.

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Faraday's First Fridays

Welcome to my monthly Advice Column. 
These gems of Wit and Wisdom are for Felines Only. 
No Humans (or Big Sisters) Allowed.

Lesson # 653: Disarm your victim by looking cute.

Exhibit A.



Exhibit B.

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Faraday's First Fridays

Welcome to my monthly Advice Column. 
These gems of Wit and Wisdom are for Felines Only. 
No Humans (or Big Sisters) Allowed.



Lesson # 513: The Accusing Stare

Practice this in the mirror on a regular basis to ensure prompt delivery of bonito flakes on command.
Works every time. Seriouslies.

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Faraday's (2nd) Fridays

(attention Mommy:
I'm getting tired of my First Fridays being bumped. Ya better fix that for June. Okay?)

How to Steal your Brother's Ball:

Any questions?

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Faraday's (2nd) Friday

We interrupt our Fangs on Friday for a Special Appearance.

After Maxwell's performance yesterday, Faraday swore he could do better. So we took him up on the challenge. At the end, you get to vote: who's the better comedian, Maxwell or Faraday?

And now, presenting:

Faraday, the Stand-Up Kitty

Faraday: A biologist, a chemist, and a statistician are out hunting.

The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5 ft to the left.
The chemist takes a shot and misses 5 ft to the right.
The statistician yells "We got 'em!"

Now THAT'S a JOKE.
(Rim shot, pleez!) 

Faraday: Did I hear an "encore!"? Don't mind if I do.

Pavlov is sitting at a pub enjoying a pint.
The phone rings and he jumps up shouting “oh no! I forgot to feed the dog!”

Did you hear about the suicidal homeopath?
He took 1/50th of the recommended dose. 
*boosh!*

Don't forget the Tip Jar on your way out the door.

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Faraday: Ending with a special request, just for our geeky mom & dad:

Einstein, Heisenberg, Pascal and Newton [the human, not Newton from Cats Herd You ;-)] are playing hide & seek.

Einstein covers his eyes and begins counting. 

While Heisenberg and Pascal run off and hide, Newton takes out some chalk and marks a square on the ground with length of exactly 1 meter by 1 meter, then sits down inside the square.

When Einstein is finished counting and sees Newton sitting on the ground, he yells, "Ha, I've found you, Newton!". 

Newton replies, "No you haven't! You've found Pascal!"

Why is Heisenberg in this joke? We're uncertain. *rim shot!*

[geeky explanation: a Pascal is a unit of measurement = a Newton over a square meter. And Heisenberg is famous for his Uncertainty Principle. Yeah, we three kitties groaned, too.]

So who did better? 

We'll share the results on Sunday!

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Faraday's First Fridays

Welcome to my monthly Advice Column. 
These gems of Wit and Wisdom are for Felines Only. 
No Humans (or Big Sisters) Allowed.

Lesson # 513: Limber Up Before Grooming 

First the jaw...

...and then the tongue.

Class dismissed.

Faraday's First Fridays

Lurking at hallway intersections is a really good way to creep someone out.
You get extra points if they catch you glaring.

Get's 'em every time.
Especially stinky ol' sisters.

Allie: I heard that!!!!

***

Woot! Check out our very first article on Catster.com!

Faraday's First Fridays

Welcome to my monthly Advice Column.
These gems of Wit and Wisdom are for Felines Only.
No Humans (or Big Sisters) Allowed.

Lesson # 471: Never volunteer for anything.

If you wait long enough, someone else - like your older brother - will do it for you.
Case in point:

Maxwell: "Need any help with that garbage disposer, Papa?"

"Here, I'll hold the box still while you lift all the parts out."

"Yup, right size. Let me just make sure this ring's on tight...."

"More parts in the bottom? Need me to go get them, Papa?"

"Uhhngghh, I'll...just be a minute...almost got it..."

I rest my case.

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Faraday's First Fridays

I picked this one up from Mommy.

Directing 101: the bottom of the frame is funny.

 

...uh, SERIOUSLIES?

Yes, Faraday, seriouslies. Of course, that's for motion pictures. Having your character come up from the bottom of the frame is considered a classic humor technique (check it out with your fave comedy!).

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We're in our last week of voting (yay)!

You have our heartfelt thanks!

Faraday's First Fridays: Nip Edition

Welcome to my monthly Advice Column.
These gems of Wit and Wisdom are for Felines Only.
No Humans (or Big Sisters) Allowed.

Lesson # 853:
Railings make great supports when you've had too much catnip.

(Not that I'd know, or anything.)

***

Faraday's First Fridays

Welcome to my monthly Advice Column.
These gems of Wit and Wisdom are for Felines Only.
No Humans (or Big Sisters) Allowed.

Irresistible Moves: Position #1.

This one is guaranteed to get you treats. Or a belly rub. At the very least, forgiveness for that little 'accident' in the closet.

(Or - if you're not so lucky - they'll squee real loud and hurt your ears.)

↓

↓

↓

↓

↓

↓

↓

The "Tucked Ear Flip"

Good thing you'll have one ear tucked under, in case you get the Squee.

Faraday's First Fridays

Welcome to my monthly Advice Column.
These gems of Wit and Wisdom are for Felines Only.
No Humans (or Big Sisters) Allowed.

How to Handle your Sister's Favorite Toy, Part 1.

Step 1: Investigate carefully to ensure you have the correct item. Pink? Check.

Step 2: Convince Innocent Party (aka the Fall Guy Cat) to relocate said toy.

Maxwell: "You're sure Allie told you she wanted it inside the vent???"

Step 3: Practice look of innocence when approached.

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"Nipcoin" for your thoughts?

Your opinion is very important to us, and we'd love to hear from you.  Would you mind taking our very brief survey at our Monday post, here?

We promise we won't share the results with Faraday. And we'd be happy to trade you one of Sparkle's Nipcoins for your trouble. Thank you ever so much!

Faraday's First Fridays

Welcome to my monthly Advice Column.
These gems of Wit and Wisdom are for Felines Only.
No Humans (or Big Sisters) Allowed.

Lesson # 493: Cool Kitty Talk is for Cats.

Tell your human to step awaaay from the slang. Leave this to the experts.

Case in point: Your human comes in from shoveling snow and announces that it is Freez-i-licious outside.

Now a cat would understand that words like 'freeze' should never be partnered with '-licious'.

Nomilicious? Check. Wand-o-licious? Oh, yeah.

Heat-i-licious? I rest my case.

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A Request for Kind Thoughts Today

Faraday is undergoing surgery this morning to extract four molars due to tooth resorption.
We know our little guy won't be feeling tip-top this evening, and will be watching him carefully throughout tonight and tomorrow.

Thank you! 

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 BlogPaws Nose-to-Nose Nominations Now Open!

Click here (or on the image above) to be directed to the BlogPaws Nomination Page. 

NOMINATION DEADLINE:
NEXT WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 12!

If you decide to nominate us, we would be so honored. 

Here is our information:
   Contact Name for Blog Owner: Lisa Richman
   Contact Email for Blog Owner: tonkstail@gmail.com
   Blog's Homepage Link: http://www.atonkstail.com/

Some of these categories ask you for links to specific posts that you feel best represent the category. 

Click here for our faves (with links & all) at the bottom of Thursday's post.

Thank you!