A Twisty (tie) Tale

Allie: What do you have there, Maxie?
Maxwell: Dunno, Allie, but I'm sure it's important science stuff, since papa dropped it.

Faraday: *scoffing noise* Seriouslies, Maxie? Just looks like a piece of white plastic to me.
Allie: Hm, let me take a closer look....

Allie: Looks like a zip tie to me.
Faraday: A zip tie?
Allie: I hear there are loads of uses for them. Like holding things together, sealing things securely shut.

Maxwell: Wait. You mean, like sealing our food bin from incursions by grey-and-white tuxedo cats?
I need to investigate this, stat!

Allie: *dirty look*  And I thought you were the nice brother....

***

Questionable taste?

Faraday: Hey, Maxie! Did you hear? Mommy's scandalized over Allie's taste in movies.

Maxwell: Uh, dood. I think she said she was surprised is all.

Check it out. Here's the text Daddy sent to her.

Faraday: Look, Maxie, here's the EVIDENCE. Seriouslies incriminating, wouldn't you agree???

.


Allie: Don't judge.

I thought Animal House was a documentary on how cats domesticated humans.

***

Wait. There's MATH?

Faraday: Okay, I've had it wif these shades, Maxie.
It's been, like, elebenty weeks now.

Faraday: Do you has any idea how long that is in cat years?!
Maxwell: Well, to be precise, the aging scale of a cat is not linear. It's more of a—

 Faraday: Seriouslies, Maxie? At a time like this, you wanna do maths an' stuffs?

Faraday: Here's a math problem for you, Maxie. How many minutes do you think it'd take me to shred —

Maxwell: All right, all right. Move back, let me just take a few measurements here. Let's see now, the shade begins at precisely 7.5 centimeters from the floor ....
Faraday: *sigh-h-h*

Maxwell: And I see the sun is at an azimuth of 140 degrees east of north....
Faraday: *heavy sigh* Just wake me when you need something shredded, 'k Maxie?

Maxwell: *mutter*mutter* That's two hundred thirteen centimeters, give or take.
And I can reach about ... uh ... ninety. 

Maxwell: So if Faraday can reach eighty-five, and Allie can reach ninety-six, that's uh ....

Maxwell: Uh, dood, how badly do you want your sunpuddles?

Think you can talk Allie into letting you stand on her shoulders?

Faraday: We're so screwed.
Maxwell: Yup.

***

 

Patience: Lost.

Faraday: *sigh*

Faraday: *sigh-h-h-h-h*

(leans in to ....)
Maxwell: *cough* AHEM.

Faraday:  (ears back)
Look, Maxie.
If you're not going to be part of the solution, then you're part of the problem.

Faraday: I don't see you lifting a paw to help resolve this situation.
You think you can do any better? Then prove it.

Maxwell: uhhhhhh ....

Faraday: I rest my case.

***

 

Busted.

Faraday: This is really starting to bug me, Maxie. There are sunpuddles and we need to be sleeping  in them. NOWS. 

Faraday: Maybe if I tried it from this side ....
Maxwell: Uh dood ... you know Momma told you not to mess with the shades after last Friday.
Faraday: Yeah, yeah, yada, yada. I wouldn't have to if she'd remember to raise them an' stuffs.

Maxwell: Dood, I really wouldn't if I were you ...

The Mom: FARADAY! GET AWAY FROM THOSE SHADES!

Faraday:  ...and you didn't think to warn me that she was standing right there, Maxie? Seriouslies?
Maxwell: Dood. You didn't ask.

Faraday:   *heavy sigh* 

***

 

Sunpuddle Woes

Faraday: Hey Maxie, according to the sun on my paw, we're missing some serious sunpuddles ...
(cue outraged tone)
... because somemommy forgotted to lift the shades before she left for work! 

*nip*  
Faraday:  BAD shade. BAD. Go 'way, shade, we don't want you here!

Maxwell: Biting the shades won't make them rise, you know. Everykitty knows that.

*cue heavy sigh* 

Faraday: Seriouslies, Maxie. If you're not going to be part of the solution ....

Will Faraday ever get his sunpuddles back? 
Will Maxie stop doling out advice and get up off his lounger and assist?
These questions and more ... next time, on A Tonk's Tail!

***

 

Back Away ... Slowly, Dood.

We continue Monday's saga:

Maxwell: ... she's behind me isn't she?

Faraday: Hey Maxie, if you don't make it through this, can I have your lounger?

Maxwell: (releases mousie like it was a hot potato)

Allie: Were you playing with my mouse, Maxie?
After expressly being told not to?

Maxwell: Uhh-h-h ....
Allie: How many times do I have to say it?

Allie: STAY AWAY FROM MY THINGS!

Allie: (primly) I think that's a very reasonable request. Don't you?

You won't catch us arguing with you, girly. No sirree!

***

 

She'll never know. Right?

We continue Friday's saga:

Maxwell: Allie's sure taking her sweet time with that nap. And this mousie's just sitting here, all lonely and bored.

Really, when you think about it that way, I'd be doing mister mousie a service by playing with him.

And I'll bet I could sneak in a good solid hour or so of mousie play, and she'd never know ....
*reaches out to nip at mousie wire*

Faraday (from under table): I wouldn't do that if I were you, Maxie.
Maxwell: Uhh, why not?

Faraday: In fact, I'd step away from that mousie real quick, I would.
Maxwell: *gulp*

Hey dood, is that what a "deer in the headlights" looks like?

(To be continued ....)

***

 

Whose mousie, again?

Maxwell: Cool, Allie. A mousie. 

Allie: That's my mousie, Maxie. And once I'm done with my nap, I intend to play with it.

So paws off--- *yawwwnnn* -- 'k?

Allie: Really, I'd hate to have to hurt you over a mousie infraction.
Or have you forgotten the lounger incident from last week so soon?

Maxwell: (casually stretches paw out and snags mouse while giving leg a nonchalant lick)
Um, yeah, sure Allie. Whatever.

Allie: I saw that, Maxie. I think I'll just nap with my mousie, if you don't mind.
(hugs mousie chastely to her breast)

Allie: ... and maybe I'd better sleep with one eye open.

... or maybe both eyes ....

That's probably a good idea, girlie.

(To be continued ....)

***

 

Never Mess with a Girlcat in Pearls

Remember the epic battle Faraday tattled on while the mom was out of town last week? 
Here is the full tale, unredacted.

Allie: Move over, Maxie. Let someone else have some lounger time.
Maxwell: Yeah, riiight. Think again, Allie. This lounger is TAKEN.

Allie: I said---
Maxwell: And I said it's TAKEN!

WHAP! WHAPPITY! WHAP!

Maxwell: You want a piece of this, Allie?

Well, DO ya?

(moments later...)

Maxwell: All right. All right, FINE.

Just quit it with the CLAWS, Allie!

Looks like Maxie fell for Classic Blunder #3, "never mess with a girlcat in pearls."

Dood, look out for Sicilians and land wars in Asia, too. Just meowin'.

***

 

Just, No.

Faraday: Hey, Allie. Can I—?
Allie: No.
 

Faraday: But what if I—
Allie: No.

Faraday: Seriouslies, Allie. You're such a killjoy.

***

Ah, Temptation ....

Faraday: Watch my green ball for me, willya, Maxie? I'm gonna take a quick nap.

... cue SFX of clock ticking ....

^^^^^
notice glazed look on face ... 

^^^^^
then slow reach ... 

*JINGLE!*

Faraday: *sigh* You just couldn't help it, could you, Maxie?
Maxwell: Uhhh ....

Well, I wasn't interested until you mentioned it.

Besides, it was just a little tap.

No harm done.

Oops.

Faraday: *sigh*

***