I happen to agree with you, and as yesterday was Get a Different Name Day, I'd be happy to oblige. Want to come over and we'll pick out a different name together?"
"I must admit, Valentine's Day spooks me a bit. Want to know why?
That pesky Cupid actually struck me with an arrow, he did! Least, that's what the kind vets here at Great Plains said when they examined me and fixed me up right and proper.
I'm good as gold now, fur's even regrown and everything. You'd never know it had happened."
"But just in case - and between you and me - I'd love to stay indoors, if it's all the same to you. That arrow just came out of nowhere!
I mean, I sort of understand, me being a handsome 2 year old tabby boy and all. But I think I prefer teh Great Plains way of finding love, and a forever family - from the safety of the nice sunroom here. No arrows in sight!
Won't you come over and see if you and I are purrfect Valentine material, today?
Purrs from The Inspector"
(cue Pink Panther music)
Inspector Clouseau is available for adoption today at the Merriam Campus of Great Plains SPCA.