Wednesday, September 16, 2020

We interrupt this blog for a book announcement

Faraday: There she goes again, Maxie, hogging all our time.
*sigh*
Maxwell: Yeah, dood, but you forget, we helped her, being her muses and all. Besides, she has cats in the books. And they talk.
Faraday: Seriouslies, Maxie....
Maxwell: Yup, and they're named after physicists, just like us.
Faraday: *rolls paw* yeah yeah yada yada

Maxwell: Don't believe me? Scroll down for an excerpt. (spoiler alert: he demands S-T-E-A-K)
Faraday: I'd rather play wif  my new toy....


Maxwell: Dood, you're cruising for trouble, aren't you?
Look, I just think it's cool that her new laptop shows her as a hologram when she types....


Monday's release: 20 sci-fi tales, and more than 600 pages, featuring a vast array of storytelling styles. Including one from our mom!
https://smarturl.it/TEU6

And then in two weeks, the next big book comes out (here there be CATS).
Here's an excerpt from ...

https://smarturl.it/CProtocol

Ever wonder what the warriors of the Unit and Shadow Recon do on their days off?

If your team leader happens to be a big, badass Marine named Thaddeus Severance the Third, you might just find yourself fighting wildfires on a small terraformed planet named Ceriba, orbiting Procyon's white dwarf, Myr. And when they're done with that? There's the small matter of a payout to settle....


   "Forty-five minutes later, Micah brought the Firestrike to a rest, wheels gently kissing the tarmac at Mount Huntington Aviation. On-staff medics were standing by to receive the two smokejumpers, both of whom Nina had triaged on the way back.  

Micah hopped out and began to shrug out of his fire-retardant flight suit. He let the arms flap behind him as he joined Nina at the vessel’s side entrance and began restocking the medical supplies the medics had brought along with them.
Movement behind the medics caught his eye and he saw the sleek form of a large cat emerge from the tree line. It came streaking toward them across the clearing.
A piercing whistle split the air moments later, a heads-up from the tower. The cat’s ears flattened in annoyance but he didn’t break his loping stride. Thad pivoted at the sound, and then erupted in a string of low curses when he saw the animal arrowing toward them.
Micah smothered a laugh at the Marine’s reaction.
“Let me guess,” he said, stepping up beside Thad and clapping him on the shoulder. “You still owe him some steaks and he’s here to collect.”
“Dang extortionist,” Thad muttered. The black panther slowed to a prowl, chuffing as he drew to a stop in front of them.
{Deal’s a deal,} Micah heard over his wire as the cat lifted baleful green eyes and pinned them on Thad. {Fifty steaks. I’ve had three.}
Thad’s eyes narrowed and he jabbed a finger toward the large animal. “You’ve had six, you mangy bastard.”
{Too small. Had to double up,} the cat replied, batting away Thad’s finger with a massive paw.
A snort erupted from Nina, causing Thad to pivot and pin her with the kind of glare only a Marine captain could dish out.
“You have something to say, chief?” he demanded.
Micah cupped a hand over his mouth to hide a smile as Nina smirked.
“Sir, yes sir,” she said. “Just wondering if the captain bothered to negotiate the size of those steaks before he entered into the agreement, sir.”
One of the medics paused on her way past. “Chief’s got you there, Thad,” the woman said. Nodding to the black cat, she added, “Pascal’s a pretty savvy negotiator. He’s already conned cook out of ten kilos of bison jerky and two bags of catnip.”
“Catnip?” Micah’s brows rose. He turned to face Pascal. “I didn’t know panthers liked catnip.”
{Not a panther,} Pascal responded.
Micah’s brow furrowed in confusion. “What?”
The medic tilted her head to indicate the ranger station. “A Huntington park ranger dropped by while you guys were rescuing the smokejumpers. Took one look and recognized Pascal’s build and markings.”
{Ceriban hunting cat,} the cat under scrutiny supplied, and then slitted his eyes at Thad once more. {Require lots of fresh meat. More than panthers. Deal’s now for seventy-five steaks.}
“Whoa, hoss, hold on there,” Thad protested. He crossed his arms and stared down at the big animal. “Ain’t nobody ever told you? You can’t renegotiate a contract after the fact.”
{Was negotiated based on panther intake.} Pascal gave the big Marine the feline equivalent of a smirk. {Ceriban hunting cats require more calories.}
“Why you…I oughtta….” Thad sputtered. He glowered at Pascal for another few seconds, and then turned on his heel and marched toward the ranger’s building.


Monday, September 14, 2020

Monday Blues


Day 34 of our Protest. When the Morning Bonito Flakes haven't kicked in yet and you find yourself sitting in the sink because the faucet kept dripping and it was mesmerizing and you might have overindulged in the nip a bit too much the previous night....




• • •


The Mom is busy chasing a hot book deadline coming up in September...
An' she's kinda mad wif the new Blogger interface...
So she's protesting it by dropping unedited phone pics onna blog for the next few weeks. 

Purrsonally, we think that violates Article XVII, Section 65, paragraph B in the Feline Articles of Cat-stitution.
What do you think?


Wednesday, September 9, 2020

(almost) Wordless Wednesday


Day 29 of our Protest. Taking up new hobbies #becauseBORED.




• • •


The Mom is busy chasing a hot book deadline coming up in September...
An' she's kinda mad wif the new Blogger interface...
So she's protesting it by dropping unedited phone pics onna blog for the next few weeks. 

Purrsonally, we think that violates Article XVII, Section 65, paragraph B in the Feline Articles of Cat-stitution.
What do you think?


Monday, September 7, 2020

Toilet Paper Trashed


Day 27 of our Protest. Expert Level: Unlocked. Boosh.

The Mom is busy chasing a hot book deadline coming up in September...
An' she's kinda mad wif the new Blogger interface...
So she's protesting it by dropping unedited phone pics onna blog for the next few weeks. 

Purrsonally, we think that violates Article XVII, Section 65, paragraph B in the Feline Articles of Cat-stitution.
What do you think?


• • •




An' ya wanna know what? The hoomins are on MY SIDE.
SRSLY. Just look:


Monday, August 31, 2020

Phone post #4


The Mom is busy chasing two hot book deadlines that are coming up in September,...
An' she's kinda mad wif the new Blogger interface...
So she's protesting it by dropping unedited phone pics onna blog for the next few weeks. 

Purrsonally, we think that violates Article XVII, Section 65, paragraph B in the Feline Articles of Cat-stitution.
What do you think?


• • •

Day 21 of our Protest:

Faraday: MO-O-OMMMM! Allie stole Daddy's rope!


EXHIBIT A:


Allie: I'm not dignifying that with a comment.


Allie: Please tell me he did not wake me for this.
The Mom: He woke you for this.
Allie: *sigh-h-h*


The Mom: Careful, baby. She sounded a bit out of sorts. Maybe you should stand down.

Faraday: I'll show you out of sorts, Mommy, Quit pokin' me. It's my job to rat on... uh, I mean report on Allie.


The Mom: *sigh* and you do it so well, too....
Faraday: *suspicious look*  Was that SARCASM, Mommy?
The Mom: Did it sound like it?

#quarantinelifewithcats
#dontaskwhyshehastherope

* * *

Wednesday, August 26, 2020

Kitty Pro Tip #651



When da humans aren't giving you enough attention, you hasta take matters into your own paws.
Even if it's a death-defying stunt.

Seriouslies.

~ Faraday



Monday, August 24, 2020

Photo post #3




The Mom is busy chasing two hot book deadlines that are coming up in September,...
An' she's kinda mad wif the new Blogger interface...
So she's protesting it by dropping unedited phone pics onna blog for the next few weeks. 

Purrsonally, we think that violates Article XVII, Section 65, paragraph B in the Feline Articles of Cat-stitution.
What do you think?
• • •

Day 14 of our Protest:


Faraday: Mommy thinks I'm lovin' on her book, but nah.
It just makes a great chin-scratcher.



Maxwell: Harsh, dood.
Faraday: The truth hurts, sometimes, Maxie.

#quarantinelife

* * *

Wednesday, August 19, 2020

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday


Quarantine Cuddles™



Faraday: Nooooo, Mommy. That's me gettin' ready to put the bitey on your nose....

(That, too....)
* * *




Monday, August 17, 2020

Phone Post #2



The Mom is busy chasing two hot book deadlines that are coming up in September,...
An' she's kinda mad wif the new Blogger interface...
So she's protesting it by dropping unedited phone pics onna blog for the next few weeks. 

Purrsonally, we think that violates Article XVII, Section 65, paragraph B in the Feline Articles of Cat-stitution.
What do you think?
• • •

Day 7 of our Protest:

Faraday: Oh, it's you again, Mommy. Canz you stop typing long enough to take me for a walk?
The Mom: No, baby. You snuck out here without permission — or a leash. You're going right back inside after I snap this cute pic.



Faraday: That's jus' meeeeean.

#notwinning

* * *

Wednesday, August 12, 2020

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday



Laundry Blues.



* * *

Monday, August 10, 2020

Phone Post #1


The Mom is busy chasing two hot book deadlines that are coming up in September,...
An' she's kinda mad wif the new Blogger interface...
So she's protesting it by dropping unedited phone pics onna blog for the next few weeks. 

Purrsonally, we think that violates Article XVII, Section 65, paragraph B in the Feline Articles of Cat-stitution.
What do you think?
• • •

Day 1 of our Protest:

Faraday: Mommy, I needs in your lap.
The Mom: I'm sorry, baby, but I'm writing right now. Can it wait until later?



Faraday:  ... No.



#winning

* * *






Monday, August 3, 2020

A calculating cat



 Maxwell: Let's see...if I pull my lounger over another six inches....

*mutter*mutter*calculating cosθ-x*

Yup, that'll work. Optimal sunpuddle angle.


*sigh* Now all I need to do is get Momma in here to raise the blinds....
 



***

Wednesday, July 29, 2020

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday



 
Smile!



***

Monday, July 27, 2020

The sunpuddle that almost was



 Maxwell: Hey! Is that a sunbeam?


Yup, it sure is. Now to figure out how to pull these blinds up so I can sunpuddle in it....



*sighhh* Oh, for opposable thumbs....



***

Wednesday, July 22, 2020

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday






Allie: Mother! Does this corn stalk make me look fat?

Ummm. Nope. Nope....



***

Monday, July 20, 2020

Bossy cat.


Faraday: Get to work Mommy, or do you think the wordz just magically write themselves?


 Seriously, baby. You're not helping, being in my lap like this.


Faraday: The Taskmaster rejects your excuses! Now, get to workz!

Yes, Boss....



***

Wednesday, July 15, 2020

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday





Allie: *cue scandalized look*  Mother! That is not my best side!

Sorry, girlie....



***

Monday, July 13, 2020

A bit of Monday wisdom


Faraday: I'm kinda thinking Caturday needs a do-over, an' Monday can just go 'way nowz.





***

Wednesday, July 8, 2020

(almost ) Wordless Wednesday


The girlcat, guarding her garden patch.



***

Monday, July 6, 2020

The Dread Feather Roberts



Did you hear about celebs remaking The Princess Bride to feed people during the COVID crisis? 
Maxwell decided to do his part....

Maxwell (as Inigo): Hello there! Slow going?
Dread Feather Toy: < climbing cliff >
Look, I don't mean to be rude, but this is not as easy as it looks, so I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't distract me.
Maxwell (as Inigo):  Sorry, dood.
(Hey Maxie, dood, that was off script. Maxwell: *calls out* LINE!)


Maxwell (as Inigo): I do not suppose you could speed things up?
Dread Feather Toy: If you're in such a hurry, you could lower a rope or a tree branch or find something useful to do.


Maxwell (as Inigo): I could do that, but I do not think you would accept my help, since I am only waiting around to kill you.
Dread Feather Toy: That does put a damper on our relationship.


Maxwell (as Inigo): I promise I will not kill you until you reach the top.

Dread Feather Toy: That's very comforting, but I'm afraid you'll just have to wait.
 

Maxwell (as Inigo): Who are you?
Dread Feather Toy:  No one of consequence.


Maxwell (as Inigo):  I must know.
Dread Feather Toy:  Get used to disappointment.

 
Maxwell (as Inigo):  Hello, my name is Maxico Montoya. You keel my feather. Prepare to die!

Hey, we never said he was a good actor....


For a look at the remake that inspired this post, check out
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYfqgI2fwdw

***

Friday, July 3, 2020

Prepping for a Pandemic 4th



Since the pandemic has taken out so many holiday fireworks displays, Faraday had an idea....


Faraday: Okay then, who's up for a bottle rocket war?


Hey, we never said it was a good idea....



***

Monday, June 29, 2020

Sneaking up on...



...Monday.

Maxwell: Shhhh...I'm incognito.
If it doesn't see me coming, then maybe I can scare it away....



***

Wednesday, June 24, 2020

That look you get....



...when the pesky squirrel who's been taunting you just gets hosed down by the automatic sprinkler.




***

Monday, June 22, 2020

When your nap is rudely interrupted

Faraday: Z-z-z-z-z-z.... Whuuu—?

 

Maxwell: Don't look now, dood, but she's at it again....


Heyyy, I'm sharing MY chair with you guys!

***

Wednesday, June 17, 2020

Grumpy-face

Faraday: $@&!%$@


(someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning....)

***

Monday, June 15, 2020

An expert speaks

Faraday: Hey, Maxie, Allie sez you needs schoolin' in the finer points of wand toy play.


So imma giving you pointers an' stuffs, k?
First you rawr at it all big an' skeery-like....


An' then you goes after it wif all claws.


It's okay to use a bit of assistance to trap it, you know, if your skillz are rusty an' stuffs. A nearby chair works fine, and we won't even deduct [many] points.


AN' THEN.... You put the BITEY onnit!

Sees? It's easy as—


Mmmmmpf — *splat*
... Uh, Mommy? ...
You needz to edit out that last picture an' stuffs.
'kay, bye.





***