Scout's Big Adventure

Faraday's Nip Turtle: So, uh, Scout, dood. I hear your humans accidentally left you behind while visiting...

Scout: Yeah, your humans said they'd ship me back this weekend, but until then - well, I'm named Scout for a reason, you know. I think I'll just scout things out around here.

Faraday's Nip Turtle: Actually, I really can't relate.
Faraday never bothered to name me. He just chews.

Faraday's Nip Turtle: And uh, about that. You ever been around cats before?
Scout: No, not really.
Faraday's Nip Turtle: Ohhhh you poor thing....

Scout: They can't be all that bad....

***

 Scout: Hey, bird watching from the mantle's cool, Faraday!

Faraday: Seriouslies, I was just wondering if there's any nip ready to harvest in the garden, so I could stuff you with it.
Scout: B-b-but I don't have a nip pouch....

Faraday: (distracted tone) Oh not to worry, I have claws... Hmmm, is that branch ready to harvest...?
Scout: Oh gee, lookatthetimegottago.....

***

 Allie: I have my eye on you, little turtle. I'd sleep with one eye open, if I were you.
Scout: *gulp* What a...good idea...(wobbly smile) Th-thanks....I think...

Allie: Mitts off my scratcher, Shell-Boy. Or I'll be having Turtle Soup for dinner!
Scout: (weak laugh) Uhhhh....we're not kosher, you know...

Faraday: Don't come crying to me for protection. Try the Bleeding Heart Pushover Kitty. And get off my lounger, there's only room for one up here!

 Scout: *clears throat*   Uhm, Mister Bleeding Heart Pushover Cat, I presume?

Maxwell: *sigh* Faraday sent you, didn't he.
Scout: Uh...maybe?

Safety, at last!

Scout: So, uh, hey Maxwell - what do you do all day on this thing anyway? Just lounge around?

 ...... pregnant pause.....    long-suffering look......

Maxwell: Are you sure you're not kosher?

Faraday's Nip Turtle: I warned you...
Scout: I think I'm ready to go back to Brian and Amy now.
 

Really. Now would be good....

***