The Dread Feather Roberts

Did you hear about celebs remaking The Princess Bride to feed people during the COVID crisis? 
Maxwell decided to do his part....

Maxwell (as Inigo): Hello there! Slow going?
Dread Feather Toy: < climbing cliff >
Look, I don't mean to be rude, but this is not as easy as it looks, so I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't distract me.
Maxwell (as Inigo):  Sorry, dood.

(Hey Maxie, dood, that was off script. Maxwell: *calls out* LINE!)

Maxwell (as Inigo): I do not suppose you could speed things up?
Dread Feather Toy: If you're in such a hurry, you could lower a rope or a tree branch or find something useful to do.

Maxwell (as Inigo): I could do that, but I do not think you would accept my help, since I am only waiting around to kill you.
Dread Feather Toy: That does put a damper on our relationship.

Maxwell (as Inigo): I promise I will not kill you until you reach the top.

Dread Feather Toy: That's very comforting, but I'm afraid you'll just have to wait.
 

Maxwell (as Inigo): Who are you?
Dread Feather Toy:  No one of consequence.

Maxwell (as Inigo):  I must know.
Dread Feather Toy:  Get used to disappointment.

 

Maxwell (as Inigo):  Hello, my name is Maxico Montoya. You keel my feather. Prepare to die!

Hey, we never said he was a good actor....

For a look at the remake that inspired this post, check out
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYfqgI2fwdw

***

Prepping for a Pandemic 4th

Since the pandemic has taken out so many holiday fireworks displays, Faraday had an idea....

Faraday: Okay then, who's up for a bottle rocket war?

Hey, we never said it was a good idea....

***

BREATH MINT, STAT!

Tell us how you really feel, dood....

***

Perception vs. Reality

Maxwell, attacking his toy mouse.

What Maxie thinks he looks like:

What Maxie really looks like:

 

What Maxie thinks of me after this post:

***

Exercise: the more-than-4-letter word

The mom: Hey, Allie.... You really should get up and exercise a bit. You know, burn off a few holiday calories.

Allie: You did not just say that to me, Mother. Move along, and we'll just pretend this never happened.

The Mom: but I have a wand toy....
Allie: Oh, well, in that case, bring it on!

The Mom: Um, Allie, you're supposed to chase after the toy. Not wait for it to come to you.

Allie: You do things your way, Mother, and I'll do things mine.

*sighhhh* 
Humans.  
SO very hard to train....

***

Does anyone still PLAY this?

Looks like Faraday does...and somekitty's not amused by it.

***

Stinky Ol' Brothers....

Allie: Oooh, I can see why Maxie loves this lounger so much.

It's cozy and comfy and  ...

*sniff*  

*SNIF-F-F-F*

~ rapid dismount ensues ~

Maxwell: What? What did I do this time?

***

The Dog Days are here!

Allie: It's the Dog Days of August...

I think I'll take it easy on the workout.

Wouldn't want to overheat or anything.

Allie, you're in air conditioning.

Allie: *sigh* Reeeeally, Mother.
You say tomato....

***

Anything you can do....

Faraday: Seriouslies, kitties.
Do not let your humans try this at home.

*disclaimer: performed by a professional cat in a controlled environment.

***

Happy 4th of July!

Faraday: Okay then, who's up for a bottle rocket war?

Uhm, dood. We think that's, like, illegal in 47 states or something. 

***

Bird Watching #FAIL

Maxwell: Do you see any Allie?  I don't see any. 

Allie: *sigh* No, Maxie. My answer's the same as the last three times you asked.
I still don't see any birds.

It might have something to do with the empty bird feeder above your head, you know.
In case you were wondering.

(five seconds later)
Maxwell: Yeah, but...but...I still don't see any, Allie. Do you?

Allie: When did I get the ADHD brother, and is there any kind of a swap-n-shop for feline siblings I might visit?

Asking for a friend.

***

Who Cut The ....

Faraday: Hey Maxie, did you see this???

Maxwell: Uhhh, looks like a mousetrap, dood.

Faraday: Well, yeah an' stuffs, but Maxie ...

...it's, like, GINORMOUS.

Maxwell: Well, it was nice of Aunt Connie to give us a nice sturdy one.  Wasn't it?
Faraday: Seriouslies, Maxie. Don't you get it?

Aunt Connie prolly figures Daddy's got some mutated mousie radiation project down in the basement an' stuffs, an' ... an' ...

if we need a mouse trap THIS big, they're prolly, like, bigger than YOU.

*CUE EPIC SHOCKED LOOK*

Maxwell: Is that what they meant when they said "we need a better mousetrap"?

(Dood. It's a cheese cutter. Please refer to blog post subject line for more details.)

***

(almost) Wordless Wednesday

Behold, the rare and majestic Meerkat Meezer in his Native Habitat....

;-)

***

Kitty Grooming Tips

Faraday: Hey, Allie ...
Allie: *sigh-h-h* What, Brat?

Faraday:  Maxie's not around. Could you, like, groom the top of my head for me, an' stuffs?
Allie: Really. Tell me you did not just ask me that.

Allie: I mean, I could, I suppose ....

*whispers* But then my very sharp teeth will be dangerously close to your very delicate ear....

Faraday: *gulp* Uhhh, no, that's all right, Allie. I'm good an' stuffs. Reallys.

 (Five seconds later....)
Allie: What?!? Like he actually deserved to be groomed?

No court would convict me.
You know this, Mother, so don't give me that Look.

***

Monday's Meezers

(or synchronized napping, whichever you prefer)

Maxwell: Still not a Monday, kitty, momma. Turn the light off when you leave.
And tell Faraday to stop using my butt as a pillow.

***

Caption: FAIL

The Mom: Hmmm, now how should I caption this? 

"Worldly thoughts" ... 
"Think globally" ... "

"Around the Nap in 80—" 
Faraday: Seriouslies, Mommy.  If you know what's good for you, you won't finish that.

That's just embarrassing, Mommy.
You can go now.
For realz.

***

Oh. Just you again.

Seriously, kid. you're killing me here.

Faraday: *yawwwwwn*  Whatevs, Mommy.

***