Scandalous Wednesday

(We'd have called it wordless, but "speechless" might be better....)

Maxwell, are you moonlighting as Allie's bouncer, in order to earn some extra cash for your catnip?
DOOD.




***

Post-Thanksgiving Blues

Maxwell: *sigh-h-h* No turkey leftovers. Just cat food.
The same old thing, day in and day out....

Wait....

What do you mean "but it's turkey, too"?
It looks nothing like what was on your plate yesterday.

#firstworldkittyproblems

***

Vishus Killer Stalks Prey!

Faraday: I keel it dead, Mommy.

You're Welcome.

Take a bow, kiddo. We're all duly impressed. 
No, really.

***

Grooming #FAIL?

... when your grooming game was tight, but then your bro totally messed with it.

#catlick

Maxwell: I see what you did there, Momma.

***

 

(almost) Wordless Wednesday

Wonder what will happen next?

***

(almost) Wordless: Predator 101 Lessons

Allie: Are you watching, Faraday? Feel free to take notes.

Predator Level Expert: ACHIEVED.

#girlcatsrule

***

First World Cat Owner Problems

Maxwell: Hullo, Momma. Going down to feed us this fine morning?

Stay here, so you can go grab your good camera?

I dunno about that. I mean if it's a choice between waiting here for that big black clicky box thing...

or racing down the stairs to be first in line for noms....

Yeah, sorry, Momma, that's just not the way I roll in the mornings.

#firstworldcatownerproblems

***

Shooting the Messenger

Allie: Wait. Did you just catch me with my tongue hanging out?!?

We need to talk, Mother.

(uh-oh....)

***

Wait. There's MATH?

Faraday: Okay, I've had it wif these shades, Maxie.
It's been, like, elebenty weeks now.

Faraday: Do you has any idea how long that is in cat years?!
Maxwell: Well, to be precise, the aging scale of a cat is not linear. It's more of a—

 Faraday: Seriouslies, Maxie? At a time like this, you wanna do maths an' stuffs?

Faraday: Here's a math problem for you, Maxie. How many minutes do you think it'd take me to shred —

Maxwell: All right, all right. Move back, let me just take a few measurements here. Let's see now, the shade begins at precisely 7.5 centimeters from the floor ....
Faraday: *sigh-h-h*

Maxwell: And I see the sun is at an azimuth of 140 degrees east of north....
Faraday: *heavy sigh* Just wake me when you need something shredded, 'k Maxie?

Maxwell: *mutter*mutter* That's two hundred thirteen centimeters, give or take.
And I can reach about ... uh ... ninety. 

Maxwell: So if Faraday can reach eighty-five, and Allie can reach ninety-six, that's uh ....

Maxwell: Uh, dood, how badly do you want your sunpuddles?

Think you can talk Allie into letting you stand on her shoulders?

Faraday: We're so screwed.
Maxwell: Yup.

***

 

Busted.

Faraday: This is really starting to bug me, Maxie. There are sunpuddles and we need to be sleeping  in them. NOWS. 

Faraday: Maybe if I tried it from this side ....
Maxwell: Uh dood ... you know Momma told you not to mess with the shades after last Friday.
Faraday: Yeah, yeah, yada, yada. I wouldn't have to if she'd remember to raise them an' stuffs.

Maxwell: Dood, I really wouldn't if I were you ...

The Mom: FARADAY! GET AWAY FROM THOSE SHADES!

Faraday:  ...and you didn't think to warn me that she was standing right there, Maxie? Seriouslies?
Maxwell: Dood. You didn't ask.

Faraday:   *heavy sigh* 

***

 

Sunpuddle Woes

Faraday: Hey Maxie, according to the sun on my paw, we're missing some serious sunpuddles ...
(cue outraged tone)
... because somemommy forgotted to lift the shades before she left for work! 

*nip*  
Faraday:  BAD shade. BAD. Go 'way, shade, we don't want you here!

Maxwell: Biting the shades won't make them rise, you know. Everykitty knows that.

*cue heavy sigh* 

Faraday: Seriouslies, Maxie. If you're not going to be part of the solution ....

Will Faraday ever get his sunpuddles back? 
Will Maxie stop doling out advice and get up off his lounger and assist?
These questions and more ... next time, on A Tonk's Tail!

***

 

Monday Woes

... from the "I snuck outside again and am taunting my sister" files:

Why yes, that's Allie perched in the kitchen window behind the sink.
Faraday's on top of the generator. Ushered back inside in 5...4...

(Allie getting in a few licks on a certain Tonkinese in 3...2...  ;-)

***

Cat v. Snake: Mano a -- uhh, Cat-o

The Great White Housepanther squares off against his opponent, staring death fearlessly in the face.

Sneak attack! But the Claws are ready.

He pulls the vicious creature into a stranglehold....

Prepares to clamp down on its venomous tail ...

...with steely jaws.

Maxwell: Dood. You're narrating your own snake battle? Really?
Faraday: *scoffing noise* As if you could do better.

Oh, the gauntlet's been thrown now.

Stay tuned!

***

A Little Post-Turkey Workout

Faraday: Seriouslies, Allie?
A nap? Right in the middle of the kitchen floor?

Allie: Well I was napping, Brat. Until you rudely awakened me.

Allie: And why not the kitchen floor? It's conveniently located next to my food bowl.

Faraday: Mommy sez you need more exercise an' less foods, Allie.
Being the generous kitty I am, I'll let you have the next mousie turn while I nom your treats, 'k?

Allie: Really, Mother? We're really doing this?
*sigh* Okay, fine.

*half-hearted swipe* Oops.

Gaaargh ....

 ... a little closer, please?

Allie: ... I think I'll just wait for the next swing ....

Faraday: Look, Maxie, she's so out of shape the mousie's totally dominating her.
Allie: Dominating me? DOMINATING me?

Allie: Step away from the food bowl, Brat, and watch how a Huntress dominates.

(cue claws of doom™)

Allie: A little tough. Pass the pepper, please?

***