Father's Day... #Fail?

So we were recently contacted by the Dollar Shave Club peeps, and I was all over the idea of test-driving one of their razors for them. I mean, seriouslies. A promotion like that has my name written all over it, don't you think?

Especially when considering the type of High Art I might be able to achieve in my endeavors.

(looks pointedly at Allie)

Yet my dreams of artistic expression were ruthlessly crushed when the Dollar Shave Club lady told us what she really wanted:

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Father's Day gift!

Well.... Having a physicist for a human dad does mean unusual gifts. So I set aside my tattered ambitions for the greater good. (I'm noble that way.)

Will someone please check on Allie? She sounds like she's choking. 
But I digress.

Where was I? Ah, yes. Unique and special gifts. Like a salt shaker glazed in depleted uranium.

Radioactive Red. We kid you not.

We scoff at cuff links.
Golf balls? Puh-leez.

**raspberry**

Nah, it's far more fun to give a radioisotope instead!

Lead-lined container? Check! Geiger counter? Yup. Doesn't every kitchen have one?

Allie: oh please. You boys wouldn't know a radioisotope if it bit you in the butt.
Move aside and let a real girlcat handle this gift. 

Maxwell: uh, Allie. That hazmat suit's not gonna protect you against gamma rays. You need something in lead.

Allie: Oh Maxie, reeeeallly. Prada does not do lead. Besides, I only wear PINK.

Faraday: Oh Dollar Shave Club lady? We reeeally need you to rethink that razor test drive.

Seriouslies: Allie with a reverse mohawk.

I rest my case.

 ***